Healthspan

This is the legroom by which you outlift your grandkids and intimidate their skinny-jeaned friends, proving that age is just a number you use to tally wins in the gym. "I’m all about extending my Healthspan because let’s face it—being ripped and feeling great is the ultimate power move over those younger guys who think ‘dad bods’ are the peak of human evolution."

The period in which your body's warranty hasn't yet expired and your cells are humming along like a well-oiled machine, right before the inevitable cosmic decision of brand-new immortality codecs becomes a reality. "Healthspan is just the prelude—I mean, my main goal is being older than dirt while feeling as fresh as a daisy!"

Admittedly an admirable concept, straddling the fine line between promising too much and doing too little, packaged under a buzzword that makes you wish you could prescribe more caution in hype. "Discussing Healthspan is great, as long as we remember it doesn’t guarantee freedom from crossing off all the appropriate medical disclaimers."