PhenoAge

Ah, metrics that promise to quantify how long you’ll be avoiding the inevitable. Make sure you've asked at least six experts before diving into that rabbit hole. "It’s interesting you mentioned PhenoAge, but perhaps it’s best discussed over a tea, with a few disclaimers attached."

This right here is your age-graded ability to smash age-based excuses and leave the whippersnappers in the dust. Because resting on your laurels is for people who'd rather watch reruns than run marathons. "I tell you, PhenoAge confirms what I knew all along—I'm not getting older, just more epic every race."

Worried about what your skin says about your age? Now there's a spreadsheet for that, too. No amount of laughing gas can replace SPF, darling. "PhenoAge is basically telling me that while Botox is great, living young is better science."